And a Happy New Year

Happy and safe New Year.

All the best!

Merry Christmas

I wish you the very best of the holidays. Give your grandma an extra kiss. Give your self an extra hour of sleep. Give your wife an extra chocolate. Take some extra pictures. And take some extra time to reminisce.

a great white north christmas

Best of 2007

SO, I want to be the type of blogger to get in on the "best of" listing, but there is a catch. When it comes to music, movies, TV, politics, books, fashion, cars, pamphlets, etc. I don't have anything important to say. So instead, I offer my own autobigraphical best of 07. Everythiing is in play here, provided that it had some impact on me during this year. This list is comprised of things that have held enough importance that I feel like writing about them. Also, I offer no numeric values. Some items may be more weighty than others, but it is their inclusion on the list, not their place on the list that be noted. Except this first item which is more profound and wonderful than ony others.

1. Honeyface. For all things spoken or unsaid, started or avoided, completed or broken. She makes the darkest hours luminous.

~Live Ireland: This site broadcasts 24 hours a day. Trad Irish music is surprisingly diverse, ranging from ancient instrumentals to drinking songs to ballads to modern.

~ Doctor Zhivago: Somehow I avoided this film my whole life. Finally sitting down to watch it, I had the rare opportunity of seeing soemthing truly classic for the first time. I can't remember when I first watched Casablanca or Citizen Kane, or Virtigo. There is something spectacular about a first viewing, even when you have some idea what is coming. And the romance and power of this film are worth seeing with fresh eyes.

~Bathroom Fan-Light: A simultaneous hum and glow eminate from this appliance in the ceiling even as it draws atmosphere into and through itself. This "refreshing" addition to the house was long overdue and very welcome.

~Dr. David Brodbeck's Psychology Lectures: Edu-tainment at its finest. These podcasts have helped me through more than a few mind-numbing hours taxation. This guy is a great lecturer and really inspires excitement about the science of the mind. And he throws some great music on to boot.

~U-verse: I hate to give the megalith AT&T much space here (it is already such a beloved bohemoth) But I have to say that the product and customer service they provide is far superior to any other media provider I have ever dealt with.

~Blogging and podcasting: fun.

~Treasures of the Trust: This is what HD is for. Spectacular vistas, gardens, architecture, art, decor, decadence and ruin. Englands National Trust maintains historic homes and properties and presents them in a matter-of-fact manner.

~The Deathly Hallows: I doubt I will ever be in line for such a release again. I doubt I will ever again draw on my forehead and wear a robe to work. A shared cultural experience, mass hysteria, a weekend of pleasure reading. Good times.

So that is a short list of some stuff.

Some Snow

It snowed and it is just lovely.

The lights in the early evening

And this one would look great if I were more steady of hand

A Little Bit of Elfish Fun...

I don't even know how to begin to explain this.

Just watch for yourself.

Enjoy...

A Little Bit of Elfish Fun!

carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrol

Finals week

By 11:59 pm, Saturday, I must conclude my half semester long study of the human mind. As this is an online class, I intend to finish in my underwear. I thought about standing on my computer and saying "Oh, Captain, My Captain," but I am kind of a big boy.
Last time I finished a class I simply walked back to my car and drove home without any fanfare. Terribly anticlimactic.
Do you have any suggestions for completing a class?

New Green Day??

Speculation is that this may be the Green Day boys concocting a little something new...

CLICK HERE TO SEE FOR YOURSELF!!

p.s. all songs are downloadable for free!!

...and thanks to perez for bringing this to my attention.

Weekend eve

All the best this weekend. Prepare well for holiday enjoyment and Imagine how wonderful things may soon be. Here are Mark Knopfler and Chet Atkins. Just for you.

stupidity in action

this is especially for estevan. Many thanks to honeyface for bringing it to my attention

Some retractions

It seems I have been a bit unfair, recently in my public comments and, on advice of council, I am taking this opportunity to clarify and recant a few prior statements.

As for my comments on those involved in the mortgage industry it was unfair to describe all involved as "criminals and pirates." I should have been more responsible and referred to them as opportunistic goons.
I regret my statement that baby boomers are all ignorant, obtuse and near-sighted. In point of fact, many have decent vision.
I should not have disparaged the political parties currently in power and I would like to say to the leaders of both parties that I was wrong-your parents were married.
As to my description of political pundits as mental-munchkin stooges who see public life as a game of jenga, I stand by my word.
As to my vulgar comments about my dogs, I want to say that they are least deserving of my venomous verbiage.
As to my assessment of the the modern romantic comedy as a hollow shell of its predicessors, I was correct.

SCTV

One more of these

and maybe this one too

Its been a bit of a while...

Since I have put something personal and meaningful on the bloggy

Since I watched the 2 George Washington mini-series starring Barry Bostwick

Since I took out the ole guitar

Since I spent an evening with my dad watching the George C Scott Christmas Carol

Since I listened to a few hours of Old-Time Radio on a long car ride

Since I was optimistic about certain financial matters

Since I could over-do the partying and feel fine the next day

Since I built something really awesome

Since I tackled anyone

Since I last had the snow blower in working order

Since I put something extra in my hot cocoa

Since I read some Sherlock Holmes

Since I was on a sled

Since I got excited about seeing a train

Since we were all together

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

All the best on this day. Watch some football and have a feast.
I am thankful for you!

an there is this

if you have time

dervish

I think this is pretty gorgeous and very calming.

From intro to psych

The question was regarding removing caffeine, alcohol and nicotine from society. should they be banned and what would happen. This is actually the only question for which I have not gotten full points, so i thought I would share my answer with you. I thought it was sort of entertaining at the end.


It’s a darn good thing that the government has declared the “war on drugs.” The use of illicit drugs is nearly non-existant. Drug dealers have to look far and wide for customers. Crime is at an all-time low. The prisons are nearly empty. Teens are less likely to make poor decisions. Illegal smuggling no longer provides tax-free financial support to violent cartels. All the money formerly spent on trying to enforce drug policies has been diverted to feeding poor children. And the Red Sox have won the World Series twice.
OK, the last one is true. But all in all, governmental attempts to curb drug use have been dismal failures. Except for one. The “Don’t Drink and Drive” campaign of the early eighties actually worked. It was simple, specific, and attainable. It changed one very specific behavior and now all sorts of people designate a driver. Even underage kids. So, there are ways to stem harmful elements of illicit behavior.
In a country where alcohol, caffeine and nicotine were illegal, people would still find ways to get what they want. But some things would definitely be different. Take for instance the Halloween party I just went to. People would be standing around drinking bathtub gin and someone would say “Hey, I just got a pack of lights from this guy in Canada. He can get anything, man. The other day, he hooked me up with 20 grams of Folgers, really primo stuff, ya know, real smooth. I think we might have a bag of Earl Grey left from the summer. You wanna go out back and steep some tea? Oh no, I think it’s the cops. Quick, eat all that chocolate. Make sure it melts in your mouth and not in your hands.”

NOOOOOO!!

Why, Lord, why?



This is a sign that I need to stop wasting time on youtube

Some plans

Dinner with friends
-before that:
Find directions to Friends' house
-before that:
Wash and get ready
-before that:
Get house looking like I am ready for fall, remove leaves, put summer plants in back,
-before that:
Borrow leaf electrical leaf blower
-before that:
Fix out-door electrical outlet
-before that:
Go to hardware store and get essential things like new out-door GFI outlet
-before that:
Visit the library (maybe get a book on electical work)
-before that:
Gather materials to be returned to Library
-before that:
Change out of pajamas
-before that:
Waste a lot of time on the interweb
-before that:
Make coffee
-before that:
Remember the things that I really should do online, ya know, thing that affect my life and future
-before that:
Enjoy this:
-

geography

Della Patella

Honeyface made me post this picture. It is our dog Delaware wearing some sort of aweful pink tubesock. Please enjoy responsibly.
(Correction: it is a sweater)

One not so sick puppy

So right around the time when I should have been exercising or preparing dinner, our dog Della started doing a dance. I thought she just wanted to be on youtube but Honeyface was worried. It seems Delaware has some luxating patellas and the dance was her way of saying "wow, i think my patellas are luxating."
So we went to the after hours vet which worried me as Della does not have an HMO, what with the whole S-Chip thing, but we love her so we took her to the doggy doc. By then she was just fine and the vet checked her out and said don't worry and it turned out not to be all that expensive.
Like I say, I think she just wanted to be on youtube.

holding on while on hold

So, even in this age of the World Wild Interweb, I still have to deal with toll free phone numbers, by which i mean i have to sit there and wait through the delightful electric piano extended version of "He ain't Heavy, He's my Brother" until finally someone in Turkmenistan picks up and has to transfer me to someone in the Ottoman Empire who tells me that he can't help because an unrelated server is down, OR I have to sit through the monotonous halting monosyllabic governmental zombie robot finishes telling me exactly the series of numbers I have already dialled and then gets to the part I need to hear.
The latter is so bad that during the hours I have to spend at work at the mercy of this slow talking she-puter, I have to actually stand up and remain on my feet as I will fall asleep, lulled by her soulless mocking.
So you can imagine my trepidation upon arriving home knowing that i was going to have to call the electronic communication provider to once again provide my name, number, account number, account description, product serial number, storm door height and width, name of my mothers grade school and the last three numbers of my social security and bank statements.
In a fit of futility I decided to try the service again one more time to see if it had been fixed before sacrificing my evening to the hot line. And then something wondrous happened. Everything worked as it had been foretold to me by the sales woman and various pamphlets. I can not fully describe my elation. The knowledge that I could go the rest of the night without waiting on hold.

So now we can all enjoy this

havin some class

So i just started this online class and i am older and more cynical than just about everyone else, except for this one very sweet lady, my virtual classmate "sccrmom378," who is very supportive.
And now here is this.

Friday

Hey, Mr. or Ms. Fancypants-
So its Friday and its time to spin that wheel

Hope your weekend is fun, relaxing and productive

All the Best

T-shirt Protuberance

So I tried to outsmart the weather today going with a polo and a coat. But I am at a tremendous disadvantage in the whole being a person thing in that I am not so bright. I put on a dark tee under the gray (grey? charcoal?)shirt and fail to realize that the tee shirt sleeves reach my elbows and the polo sleeves end an inch and a half north. So all day I walk around unaware and looking like a toolbox. Which I suppose is only part of the reason why the compu-dudes don't necessarily take me that seriously.
The following is completely unrelated but nonetheless cool

streams of drivel

So it is a mere day past the ides of October, which used to be the eighth month hence the "oct" part but is now devoted entirely to Michigan's bumper pumpkin crop, and long story short, it is dark out too early and in a few days we will all fall back and it will seem darker though our sleep patterns may briefly improve.
I have more to say but some things are better left...

This made me very happy

Paul especially,
Enjoy the force out of this

Weekend

A lot to do, but there's always time for a quick "I love you" for my Honeyface.

DeNiro ate something Sour

So another hurdle in the quest to pour wisdom through my fingertips onto the computer is the very placement of said computer in relation to other pieces of furniture. By simply turning my head 90 degrees to the left (your right) I find my self no longer staring at the beckoning screen. The channels in my head have been re-tuned, for I am staring...

At Myself!

Immediately to my left is a dresser with vanity mirror.

Sure i am just as egotistical and narcissistic as the next attractive intelligent and talented guy, but that is not why I stare. I stare because at some point in my misspent youth, I developed a penchant for making faces.

So you see, I am not merely staring at myself. I stare at a cast of funny-looking individuals and beings that stare right back at me. And as hard as it is to gaze on such creatures it is many times harder to look away when they are in their glory. My face seems to do things of its own accord: now Stanley Tucci, now a fish, now John Kerry, now a lizard, now Mr Surprised-Happy-Guy, now concentrating infant, now Ed Grimley. It is like trying to stop staring at a dryer in a laundro-mat with "reds" in. And finally, as if with a crowbar, I pry my eyes back to the warm blue glow of the monitor, and the faces have taken their due. My mind is now devoid of the brilliant chunks of gooey wisdom I was about to smear on both our monitors.

I have failed you.

But you should see what my eyebrows just did.

nightmare theatre

So I heard a scary idea today and the more i thought about it, the more it terrified me. The idea goes some thing like this (very very over-simplified version)-
Scientist have been making progress restoring sight to the blind with electronics, a camera pics up images and transcribes them directly onto the brain. This sort of thing is in its infancy, but the technology exists. The perception of visual elements of dreams appear on brain images in the same way as do images a person sees. So by simply perfecting and reversing the technology, dream images can be taken from a brain and captured to be viewed as from a camera.

This scares the Scott Farkus out of me.

I am not scared just that someone else could see me show up naked to play tennis at school when I forgot I had an exam, though that is a scary thought, or that someone would see me doing things my mother would not approve of. I am scared of those other dreams, the kind you are glad to wake from. Some dreams, at least for me have been so terrifying that many interveneing years have not softened their grotesque. Some dreams are meant to be awakened from. Some are so disturbing that the brain forces an exit.
Most are harmless, surreal narratives that in the light of day are innocuous if not funny. Many dreams are enjoyable.
But some dreams are best left to fester and rot in the neural scar tissue from which they spawned.

How my day isn't going

The sun was beating down like the heels of a first baseman as I walked down the boardwalk to return to my job as Postmaster General of Hazard County when I man I never met before handed me a pamphlet for the Biggs Tinker Company. “I have played billiards with Annie Lenox,” he said with a smile. I grinned back like a 52 Plymouth but avoided meeting his eyes and continued my promenade. The boardwalk gave way to asphalt and then to gravel and I found myself whistling songs John Foggerty never wrote. I passed a long since defunct department store now used by an underground extreme salsa dancing group called El Nariz Calliente! who were currently away ransacking the apartment of a former chess champion turned track star, who was in turn, away having a gallbladder operation and pedicure. The only sign in the window said Death to the Ford Ranchero: Unholy Amalgam. Across the street a woman nearly fell off her pedestal while her children cheered and squeezed lemon juice into their tumblers of Ginger Ale. So I turned around and sauntered back to my houseboat. The mail would wait until morning.

in dog years he is 133

So many many years ago, i was cold and tired and very hungry, many many miles from home and it was one of those situations where I had no choice but to try to pilfer some food from a state funded institution. That is how I met my very old friend "Nathan not Nate,", aka "Mr. MagsMan," aka "Mr Picky," aka "Happy McSmileypants." He was there to help with my defrauding on the condition that I smile and wear his hat.
At the time, he seemed...mature and ... worldly.

(Digitally aged three days)

Now I realize that he is just very very old. And here we have his birthday.
Happy Birthday, my friend! And Many Many More!

a little more Harpo

All media-ed out. but watch this anyway

All the best,

Tommmmmmmmmmmmmmy

HARPO MARX

My hero, Arthur "Harpo" Marx, died on this date in 1964. Amazingly, he died on his wedding anniversary, and so, to his family, September 28 has always been a day of remembrance and celebration of his life.



Here is just a taste of life with Harpo as he described in his autobiography Harpo Speaks:


"We didn't run a very proper or conventional household, but the joint was never dull either. At the end of the war we enlarged our house.
We threw out the butler, disconnected the buzzer on the dining-room floor and got rid of all the rest of the Beverly Hills nonsense and converted the dining room into a poolroom. The next thing we threw out after the butler was Dr. Spock. I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear. But I've been lucky on both scores. The harp has given me a decent living and my children have given me more pleasure than I ever thought a man could possibly have.
What rules we had, as a family, stemmed from the fact that all of us has been adopted by each other. We've always had equal amounts of gratitude and respect mixed in with our love for each other. Susan, an only child who never had any roots, and I, a lone wolf who got married twenty years too late, were adopted by the kids as much as they were by us. Somehow, without lecturing or threatening or studying any books, we all followed the same rules, from the time the kids were very young:
Life has been created for you to enjoy, but you won't enjoy it unless you pay for it with some good, hard work. This is one price that will never be marked down. You can work at whatever you want as long as you do it as well as you can and clean up afterwards and you're at the table at mealtime and in bed at bedtime.
Respect what the others do. Respect Dad's harp, Mom's paints, Billy's piano, Alex's set of tools, Jimmy's designs and Minnie's menagerie.
If anything makes you sore, come out with it. Maybe the rest of us are itching for a fight too.
If anything strikes you as funny, out with that too. Let the rest of us have a laugh.
If you have the impulse to do something you're not sure is right, go ahead and do it. Take a chance. Chances are, if you don't you'll regret it - unless you break the rules about mealtime and bedtime, in which case you'll sure as hell regret it.
If it's a question of whether to do what's fun or what is supposed to be good for you, and nobody is hurt by whichever you do, always do what's fun.
If things get too much for you and you feel the whole's world's against you, go stand on your head. If you can think of anything crazier to do, do it.
Don't worry about what other people think. The only person in the world important enough to conform to is yourself.
Anybody who mistreats a pet or breaks a pool cue is docked a month's pay."

If you are still reading and want to have a good laugh and a cry read this

HONK! HONK!

Happy Birthday, Carrie!

A streak has com to an end. Without the fanfare of Cal Ripken Jr., or the moving speech of Lou Gehrig, a longer lived but less well known Iron-man race has quietly closed. For twenty eight years, five months and thirty days, my mom and dad have had as few as one and as many as five minor children. Today, the youngest , my baby sister, has legally become an adult.

A chicken dinner, Grandma's cake, a little candle, a few cards and poof... you grew up. Just like that.

Welcome, adorable one, to the ranks of adulthood. Go get yourself a lotto ticket!

P.S. You are still the baby!

P.P.S. And you still can't swear in front of mom.

talk about number two

So a few moments ago I was creating a series of short lists for the weekend. Things I need, and things I think I need but can't have. The formulation of these lists somehow wound up in my acceptance of the following.
1. I need to get superglue
2. I think I need Internet in the bathroom
3. Sometimes people talk in numbers

I would like to go further into item number three.

It occurred to me that part of becoming fully acquainted with any topic involves the ability to discuss said topic by using numbers in place of or shorthand for other words:
The simplest examples are in a restaurant or in my back yard: "I'll have the number two," or "She had a number two." But of course it goes much further. The waitress may yell out something like like "Number two. Eighty six the pickles." Here she uses numbers in place of a noun and a verb.
Sometimes the same numeral nomenclature can mean two different things depending on the context: "Eddie put the 45 on the table." Did Eddie put a gun on the place where someone eats or did he place a small vinyl record on a record player?
The use of numbers in a home improvement setting can denote a persons level of accomplishment in that field. "Gregor, bring me a two-by-four." Even the rank amateur knows that the speaker is asking Gregor for a wooden board. But if the same speaker says "Gregor, is that a 220?" an amateur could be confused and possibly seriously injured. Especially if the amateur thinks the speaker is discussing a sophomore level English class.
This seems true of just about any field. Someone that knows what they are doing can say "Hey, Freda, can you hand me a stack of 1040's" or "Bernard, do we have Mrs. Garza's 360?" If Freda or Bernard know what the speaker is talking about, he or she might respond "Ten-Four."

But why someone would want to talk like that twenty four-seven is beyond me.

Happy scraps

had a rough day and tomorrow bodes more of the same. But nobody wants to hear about that, not even your grandmother. So instead here is a list of reasons for the tommmmmmmmmy to be happy:

I still smell OK after a rough day

Spatulas are awesome and useful

My honeyface is very nice to me

my dogs always want to show how much they love me in the face

I have two Marx Brothers DVD box sets

I am not worried that the microbe Candida albicans exhibits a dimorphic growth pattern

My nose is prominent

The fan-light in my bathroom is sweet

I have enough clean socks for the week

There is no draft

I am handy with a hammer

I like to move-it move-it

My begonias are very healthy

There is a piece of apple pie in the fridge

My sisters call me "Buddy"

I have great hair

my neighborhood sewers do their job

******************

OK, I feel much better. feel free to recomend any additions

achy achy, hands off sn...

SO my whole being hurts. I spent the weekend with the annual bastages in the woods abusing our livers and requantifying those parts of the brain reserved for obscenity and also chopping wood. And now i hurt so good.

The annual trip with the annual bastages serves to truly coalate my mind and give voice to the socially unacceptable yawps that take root somewhere in the deepest catacombs of twentyfirst century lives.

viva la camping.

dancing gridiron brooms

So-
I am thinking of starting a FANTASIA FOOTBALL league. It would be like fantasy football but you hear The Ride of the Valkyries every time you log in...

some films to avoid

Over the past several days we watched several movies that fell short of expectations. First Loverboy. Kevin Bacon directed what was intended to be a story of a damaged mother and her lover for her son. Though she is delusional and overbearing, we are meant to see the Anne Shirley-esque wonder with which she observes the world and escapes the truths of it. In actuality, we see pain, abuse, and selfishness. What is intended to be honest, tender, and compelling is, in fact, grotesque. A portrayal of an embittered and insane character, does not an art film make. The story is unique and creative, yet it relies too heavily on caricature. The focus meanders and leaves the viewer feeling not like a participant, nor witness, nor judge, nor juror; but like a movie viewer relieved to see the credits roll.
Another disappointment came in the form of Mike White's Year of the Dog. This one begins very humbly but with great power. he expertly introduces the characters, gives them meaning, and then subtly and deliberately hits several emotional chords. Then, half an hour in, he radically changes direction and again chooses caricature over character. These very people that so recently seemed multidimensional are now hammered flat. We are allowed a few glimpses of humanity several more times, but each quickly springs a leak.

dan band

Please enjoy responsibly: explicit lyrics



later perhaps a discussion of officially placed signs in public restrooms. until then, I'm peter venkman saying.....

Grazi, Maestro!

Here with Sting.

The Ice(pak) Man Cometh

I spend lengthy parts of the year paying little to no attention to sports. I will glance at scores on news websites, hear vague details on the radio and on tv and that's about it. But now and then (yes at the begining and end of seasons) my interest is peaked and I pay closer attention. This is one of the latter periods: fantasy draft, Tigers trying to eke, and the Mountaineers giving all the (sc) U M people a well deserved humbling. And tonight, my wife's favorite Tiger pitcher returns to the mound. The Gambler will either revitalize our injury plagued league champs, or will emcee his own curtain call. but either way, Honeyface will probably let me watch some of the game. If I agree to help her put together her roster for this weeks fantasy match.

And here's hoping The Maestro feels better.

a letter

Dear Mr Brody,
First I would like to apologise for my last letter and subsequent outburst, both of which were ill-timed. I am pleased that you are taking this project seriously. Most of the time, I am not contacted by actors intent on portraying me and my life story. At least not since "Uncle Walt" lied to me and made me a laughing stock.

So any way, I just wanted to say congrats on your being cast as me and good luck with the movie.

If you were still interested in the real me, here are a few things to note. For starters, remember that I was brought to life after Gepetto made me for one purpose: HIS happiness. My feelings were never taken into account. Sure, Gepetto was a great guy and at was sad that he was old and lonely, but still i want to be clear on that point. Another issue that accompanies a "birth" like mine is paperwork. I had a hell of a time getting a driver's license because I had no birth certificate and further, coming into the world already aged six years, I would look like I was 17 at my 11th birthday. So, imagaine having to deal with that.

And onther thing, I can't find a razor that will last as long as a snow cone on a hot day. See, when "Blue Faery" made me a "Real Boy" she did kind of a half-ass job. I dont have complete human DNA. ANy idea how hard it is to shave when you're half Italian and half Douglas Fir? Pretty hard.

You know, many other facts were changed for "Uncle Walt's" film version of my life. I signed a bad contract hoping for a scene with Annette. I should have tipped my lawyer I guess.

Well good luck with the movie

yours truly,
Pinnochio

Stray Thoughts

A few items for contemplation:
Why does "Sour Cream" go bad?

If my pal "Nathan not Nate" was to choose one of the team names I suggested, would it be "The Vegan from Muskegon," "Soda-Cracker Junction," or "Ponce de Lion?"

At what point does being patient become being oblivious, or does it go right to being lazy?

Does Flight of the Conchords take place in the world I live in?

Why don't people say "Crackle, Pop," after saying "Snap?"

Why don't they have automatic electronic plungers?

If someone touches a calculator button in the dark, does it add up?

Will the ASPCA commission Elton John to perform a special version of Who Let the Dogs Out in the wake of the Michael Vick scandal?

Do "scandal" and "sandal" have the same route word?

Is the Senator Craig scandal a "wag-the-dog" type ploy to remove media attention from
A) Resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
B) The War
C) Lindsay Lohan's Rehab exploits
D) Miss Teen South Carolina's brilliantude and such as U.S Americans

business time

Sometimes, its just business time

Italian Dinner

What do you call a whole bunch of dark haired people eating a four foot sub, and two twenty-four-slice deep dish pizzas at about two in the afternoon? Around here, you just call it, dinner with family. Today we celebrate what would have been my Grandpa's 90th birthday. THis year no cake and no birthday boy. But we have everything else in spades.

The kids (everyone my age and under) get together, watch the tube and laugh, as we should. We give eachother a hard time, as we should. We sit and discuss the Tigers and the Lions, as we should. We lament the recent performance of Brandon Inge, we condemn the continued reign of Matt Millan and we trade tips on fantasy football.

We discuss work and future plans and recomend various movies and youtubes to eachother. And far less frequently than before, we pause and remenisce and pause again. Just before eating we pray together and Grandma speaks directly to my late Grandpa, addressing him as she always would infront of everyone else, never by his first name. "Dad, we miss you," she says after everyones "amen" and leaves it at that. And that is as it should be. Without a doubt we miss him. He is not there to blow out the candles, to comment on the Tigers and to take eveyones picture. There is an empty spot on the mantle where he would set down his camera. He was always documtning familial gatherings, and now we have a lot to look at. But for today, here's looking at you, kid.

Fractured Flick

So last night we watched the DVD of Fractured with Sir Anthony "Big Tony" Hopkins and Ryan "Goosey" Gosling and, well, I had bigger expectations. Sure, there were plenty of fine elements that went into this picture. Both lead actors are gifted and hardworking. Hopkins needs only to look in the general direction of the camera to inspire whatever emotion he feels like and gosling has a unique ability to be the every-man and the rebel simultaneously, like James dean channeling Henry Fonda. But enough fawning. Several issues arose through the course of the film that deserve brief illumination. For starters, Hopkins and director Gregory Hoblit (Frequency and Primal Fear) should have decided early on just exactly what accent to give Hopkins' character Ted Crawford. At various times he is English London, English northern, Irish and American. not only is this distracting but it is indicative of the larger inconsistencies. neither character is ever really fleshed out. No one becomes bigger than life. Several peripheral character make great insightful observations about the theoretical motivations of our two leads but that is about it for development. WE don't get enough interplay and sparring between the two leads. They verbally slap at each other a few times and then go their separate ways to lick their wounds, never really getting at anything important. The several confrontations just fall flat. when bruised the Gosling character goes away to mope and the Hopkins character throws a shot-lived temper-tantrum, both of which feel empty and cheap.
Another issue, at least for me, is that the "legal thriller" aspect was fairly amateur. I am no lawyer, but I would be a unstoppable attorney in the world of Law and Order. This is not due to any brilliance on my part but to a simplistic understanding of formula and rhythm. Relying only on flawed understanding of law theory and the ability to recognise character actors, I can tell you at twenty minutes who the real killer is, and how Jack McCoy is going to convict him. I can even fairly accurately tell how the defense is going to supress certain damning evidence. I had no trouble pulling the same stunt watching Fracture. But this did not have the same effect as figuring out a good mystery a few mments before a hero detective. Instead it made the whole thing predictable.
Had this been a television drama, or movie with lesser talents, I would have been pleased, but these guys should be held to a higher standard.

Un-Droughtiness

Some thoughts on the rain. It's 8:25 am, the wind picks up from the west, its really coming down now. And here's me: unbuttoned beige trench coat flapping, shoulders hunched against the harsh, mid-sixty degrees chill, classic black umbrella with shinny point aimed at the heavens and curved wooden handle tucked to my side. I look like someone’s sloppy great uncle from jolly old England. Awesome: a man ready to battle clientele and the elements simultaneously.

It strikes me that during rain storms it may be more preferable to be a cat than a dog. whether they like it or not, Indy and Dela have little choice but to go brave the elements. Whereas their friend Monty can remain indoors, conducting business in his own warm, dry sanctuary, quietly brooding and concocting new outrages. Indy and Dela must be wiped off as they re-enter the shelter of home, whilst Monty chooses when and by whom he may be touched. On the other hand, I think I prefer wiping 8 feet to cleaning the cavernous litter box of despair.

The History of Tonka Trucks

Look, I like watching large machines move large quantities of large stuff as much as the next guy (provided that the next guy isn't really into the smell or sound of diesel). I would rather watch documentary type programming revolving around the course of human events- ya know- history. I find old footage, artifacts, sweeping vistas, Ken Burns-esque pans across old photographs and the casual, occasionally dry banter of academics.
I like history and when I turn on the History Channel as I turn in for the night, I prefer to be lulled into profound dreams by the sound and glow of days of yore.
So since the History Channel abandoned knights, generals, kings, presidents, wars, constitutional conventions, etc. in favor of Tonka Trucks and Erector Sets, I have had to search far a wide for the mild intellectual fare that I would prefer. Now, don't get me wrong, machinery has an important place in history, but only in a historical context: "We developed the Jeep to kick Nazi ass," or "This 19th century railroad technology affected the course of the history of Butte, Montana." That's fine. In fact I really enjoyed Modern Marvels when it delved into the history of technology, before it became a video catalog of the Cat bulldozer and earth moving company. The James Burke Connections series showed technological advances and how they shaped the growing knowledge of past societies. Sure it mentioned the current uses of such innovations to draw conclusions, but it focused on the freakin' history.
There is a time and a place for the diesel belching reality shows. But when I feel like witching "big machine break big rock into several still big rocks and other big machine move big rocks to still other big machine," I am fully capable of surfing 3 channels over to the Mike Rowe / Mythbusters channel all by myself. That's what they are there for, History Channel. I am sure that the fact that Alex has hauled 265 tons of crap over some lakes will have some bearing on the course of western civilization, but I would rather see some actual history

Angry Political Gobbledy-Gook

OK so sorry to bring down the mood but today I got this email from someone that I respect, admire and love. The email was one of these politically derisive "join the dark-side" forwards (see below). It caused me some fairly serious gastric issues and promted me to respond. But here is the thing: I know that writing back and addressing the errors of some other dude's crap would do nothing but cause personal strife. Responding to a forward is just not a good move. I think my decision to "Save Draft" and not to "Send" shows at least a little maturity. But I still feel obligated to voice my outrage. SO here is the forward and my intended response:

You Ain't Gonna Like Losing! "A MUST READ":

President Bush did make a bad mistake in the war on terrorism. But the mistake was not his decision to go to war in Iraq. Bush's mistake came in his belief that this country is the same one his father fought for in WWII. It is not.
Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders,so it was the people's duty to back those leaders.Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not -- or whether the war was going badly or not. And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great then as it is today.Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty. Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war. Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort.Men who were too old or medically 4-F lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And abunch even enlisted.And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a pledge of allegiance, and with prayers for our country and our troops!Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies. A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being "tortured" by being forced to wear women's underwear, or subjected to interrogation by a woman, or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of pornography, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crackheads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets. No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve. It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the land of Oz. We even have the wicked witch of the west as the new Speaker of the House of Representatives. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices. We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty, to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one third or over three hundred million Muslims are sympathetic to the terrorists cause. . . Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits. We either win it - or lose it - and you ain't gonna like losing.

MY RESPONSE:

Sorry, [NAME WITHHELD], but this is ignorant drivel. This is the worst sort of revisionist history and it is insulting to all Americans.

Before we discuss and refute the historic flaws herein, let us consider the implications of the argument being true. It means the president has no idea what is going on outside his windows. If he is able to so easily misjudge the people he leads, the people that elected him, then i ask what business he has leading. Don't Americans deserve a leader with a firm grip on reality? Should you not expect your leaders to consider the viewpoints of their constituents or at least acknowledge the validity therein?

SO in short, if this has any basis, it proves the ineptitude of the leadership. As to the historic lies, let us begin with the Great Depression. How did Americans support the leaders that ignored the realities of the situation? How does America feel about Hoover even today? Further I must add that America was reluctant to get involved in the war. Did we jump in at the invasion of Poland, or Russia, or France? No. No one wanted war. No one, especially no leader sought reasons to fight. And remember that throughout the war, Americans needed reminders of "Why We Fight." As to American blind support, two points: First, the leadership was willing to take responsibility. Remember that Ike said if D-Day was a failure the responsibility was his and his alone. Where is the leadership's embrace of responsibility today? Secondly, blunders WERE in fact met with disdain. How did America react to Operation Market Garden or to Patton slapping that kid around?

Now, we are not merely living in a post WWII world but in a post Korea, post Viet Nam world. Many of us should have known better. Like WWII generals, we should have done everything possible to prepare for the invasion. Remember that D-day was years after Pearl Harbor. Those planning the war did their best to insure victory by looking beyond the horizon toward an end to fighting. Mistakes were made and men died for them, but perhaps they had reason to trust their leaders.

Propaganda like the email to which I am responding is short sighted, partisan and inflammatory, intent on dividing an already wounded country. If you don't believe that I have the right to extrapolate on the intent of the author, then ask yourself why that author has the right to extrapolate on the intent of so many others: Americans with different view points, Muslims, pacifists, etc.

The "You ain't gonna like losing" email and the actions of the administration share the same flaws. In each case, vast amounts of historic, factual and contextual evidence have been ignored leaving only the evidence and assumptions supporting a specific, intended conclusion. In reality, the full picture is far bigger and more complex and open to other conclusions.

We should all have known better. Let's hope for something better. We deserve better.

Pray for PEACE,

My sister's peaves

Today i will not focus on the myriad of things in my immediate world that upset me. Instead, we shall discuss one of the things that causes my sister, Jojo, emotional and abdominal distress. That thing which above all else most taxes my sister's delicate sensibilities is, to give it a name, "Cold Lean." That is, of course, not the real name of the problem but I wish to be tactful.


You see, "Cold Lean" was, once a co-worker of my sister. Some time ago "Cold Lean" moved on to greener pastures and went to work for one of Macomb County's many Turf Barons. That makes "Cold Lean" a customer and still frequents Jojo's office. And herein lies the rub. "Cold Lean" ends up in the office quite often, occasionally several times a week, and to Jojo's horror, "Cold Lean" is greeted with warmest tones, loving embraces and genuine curiosity about how she has been. Mind you she was just in last Friday. Further, I must add that no one could really stomach that much of the lady whilst she was a co worker. Well now, you may be asking, isn't fawning over clients just part of the game? Well, it probably should be, but as a rule...no.

So that is how Jojo was feeling earlier. Mrs. honeyface and I just watched and mostly enjoyed Vacancy. Frank Whaley is a jewel. Kate Winslet, no, Blachett, no, Beckinsdale was not undead. Ethan Embry was Dutch and Luke Wilson found a new emotion. That makes three : Annoyed (with Owen?) Scheming and now Really Afraid. But seriously, it was a well executed Psyco-suspense-thiller worthy of a que. Have to go checkthe porch for bugs and vermin

Keep smiling.

Initializing Rant

The thing is that I have so little intelectual stimulation at work that I find myself overcome with intense feelings on new excel techniques and NPR stories.

It is hard not to blame the baby boomers for everything that upsets me.

The world might be a calmer place if lawyers were tipped sort of like waiters. "You helped me out of that speeding ticket, here's a fiver. You told me to go with the adjustable rate mortgage, here are some pennies. You told me to publish a book about if I did what?"

Why don't they have "Hot Dog Helper" or "Sausage Helper" or even "Patty Melt Helper?"

Got to go watch a cheap comedy and dream of bumpy cake.