Friday, September 21, 2007

talk about number two

So a few moments ago I was creating a series of short lists for the weekend. Things I need, and things I think I need but can't have. The formulation of these lists somehow wound up in my acceptance of the following.
1. I need to get superglue
2. I think I need Internet in the bathroom
3. Sometimes people talk in numbers

I would like to go further into item number three.

It occurred to me that part of becoming fully acquainted with any topic involves the ability to discuss said topic by using numbers in place of or shorthand for other words:
The simplest examples are in a restaurant or in my back yard: "I'll have the number two," or "She had a number two." But of course it goes much further. The waitress may yell out something like like "Number two. Eighty six the pickles." Here she uses numbers in place of a noun and a verb.
Sometimes the same numeral nomenclature can mean two different things depending on the context: "Eddie put the 45 on the table." Did Eddie put a gun on the place where someone eats or did he place a small vinyl record on a record player?
The use of numbers in a home improvement setting can denote a persons level of accomplishment in that field. "Gregor, bring me a two-by-four." Even the rank amateur knows that the speaker is asking Gregor for a wooden board. But if the same speaker says "Gregor, is that a 220?" an amateur could be confused and possibly seriously injured. Especially if the amateur thinks the speaker is discussing a sophomore level English class.
This seems true of just about any field. Someone that knows what they are doing can say "Hey, Freda, can you hand me a stack of 1040's" or "Bernard, do we have Mrs. Garza's 360?" If Freda or Bernard know what the speaker is talking about, he or she might respond "Ten-Four."

But why someone would want to talk like that twenty four-seven is beyond me.

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